Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Listen: You Can Help Without Owning the Problem!



Sometimes as parents or managers or colleagues we own more than necessary. Offering advice or suggestions or attempting to influence someone with facts, arguments, opinions, etc., can transfer problem ownership to us. Providing free consultancy or instructions on a specific approach to someone can make us the owner of their problems. Our friends and family don’t want us to own their problems. They want us to listen and understand. I wrote this months ago in my post titled ‘Take Ownership: Why Not? – A Short Story’.

You can help without owning problems. How? It is simple. Listen to understand! Yes. Let me tell you why and how.

Some of us spend lots of money in finding and spending time with someone who knows how to listen to our problems and understand our issues. That is what helps us gain perspective. We want someone to hold up a mirror so that we can take a closer look at ourselves. Don’t we?

Everyone needs some feedback, some opinion and some validation. If you are dubious about receiving feedback, stop looking at a mirror for a week. Try!

Listening – when done in the right manner, is powerful. Listening to understand is all about caring. Friends listen to understand. Families listen to understand.

"The art of conversation lies in listening." --Malcom Forbes

Beware. Offering advice or suggestions or attempting to influence someone with facts, arguments, opinions, etc., can transfer problem ownership to us. Providing free consultancy or instructions on a specific approach to someone can make us the owner of their problems. Our friends and family don’t want us to own their problems. They want us to listen and understand.

Dr. Karl Augustus Menninger (1983 – 1990), one of the well-known American psychiatrist said,

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."

Listen! You can help Your Friends, Families and Colleagues solve problems!

You must have read an interesting quote or something else on ‘Listening’. What is it? Let us discuss.

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